I’ve been reading and listening to the words of wisdom of couples therapist Esther Perel leading me to ask some difficult questions. When am I kind? Why am I kind? Do I wait until my partner is down and bummed out and then I’m ‘nicer’ than normal? Do I only show up with peace offerings to reconcile after a fight? Am I kind in the spirit of ‘marriage maintenance’ and just do nice things even when life is drama free? Or, do I only dish out kindness for birthdays, anniversaries and special occasions.
We all know that in the early months of courtship we surprise our newly beloved with tiny offerings of love in the form of books and foot massages to surprise concert tickets and a gourmet dinner. As time goes on we begin to take them for granted and then its kids, work, domestic life and the small acts of caring begin to fade. All kinds of kindness are important, but maintenance kindness clearly is the best way to forward.
Need more inspiration?
JN
janet & christine 